Signs You’re Becoming a Thai Expat

After being here for about 5 months now, I’ve begun to feel pretty adapted and not like I’m just visiting this wild and crazy place. In doing so, there’s many aspects of culture that seemed so strange just a short time ago, and are now just a normal part of the day. With the help of my colleagues, we’ve established a short list of signs that indicate you’re slowly but surely becoming a Thai expat. Please feel free to add your own in the comments and I’ll add them in. Here’s what we have so far:

1.) 2 folding tables and 4 plastic chairs in someone’s garage classifies as a restaurant

2.) You finally stop shopping for beer between 2 and 5pm

3.) You feel slightly insulted when strangers on the street pay you no mention

4.) What’s a knife?mountain dew

5.) You drink Mountain Dew, not Coke

6.) Saggy dog balls no longer register

7.) You stop wondering if that’s his niece

8.) Beer without ice seems like a terrible idea

9.) You know what cooked blood looks like and how to avoid it

10.) Finally learning the Thai phrase for, “I don’t need 3 plastic bags with that”

11.) When paying $4 for a meal seems outrageous

12.) You’ve graduated from Chang to Leo. Singha is for tourists and millionairesping pong

13.) Ping Pong shows are no longer appealing

14.) Eating rice with a fork? What do I look like, David Copperfield?

15.) You can’t remember what real coffee tastes like

16.) A 3 hour van ride feels the same as a 30 minute drive back home

17.) 7/11 has become the hub of your life

18.) Driving a scooter down the wrong side of the road with no helmet on no longer seems dangerous

19.) Finding a good slice of pizza is like finding the Holy Grail

20.) Per Brittany: Lady boy identification accuracy has gone from 50% to 90%

21.) You can tell the difference between a wedding and a funeral.

22.) Your idea of a good vacation is a cheap air conditioned room…anywhere.

23.) You stop saying “it’s so hot today!”…. every single day.

Well that’s all for now. This place is amazing, unique, and beautiful and I finally understand why so many people find themselves here at some point in their lives.  The beautiful landscape doesn’t hurt either.

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3 thoughts on “Signs You’re Becoming a Thai Expat

  1. Refreshing read, agree on most points. Let me add a couple:

    – You complain that it’s “so hot today”
    – You buy your breakfast at 7-Eleven
    – You stop cleaning up your table after eating at the food court.
    – White skinned girl suddenly seem more attractive than dark skinned girls.

    Lol.

    Like

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